Have you ever wondered what it feels like to love and be loved? This may sound cliché, but love is a feeling that's difficult to describe. It’s like the aroma of freshly brewed coffee in the morning while you admire a beautiful view. It’s the way people adjust their pace to enjoy a meal together. It’s the butterflies in your stomach when someone ties your shoelaces or brushes your hair back. It's with the way they eagerly carry your cute little pink bag for you, along with countless other indescribable feelings we experience with someone special. However, despite how desirable love is, it can also be quite scary.
“Let’s stop this,” the words came out of my mouth, accompanied by the dramatic sound of the rain. “If that’s your choice, I can’t stop you,” he replied. This was the last scene in my memory as I reflected on my experience in a complicated situationship. Yes, a situation between two people in a “romantic relationship” that is non-committal. This scenario may be relatable to many, as they may have experienced it before or are currently in it. However, being in this kind of situation isn’t for me; there’s no clear path to where this connection will lead. There’s no clarity about the future, and no commitment offered because, to be honest, it’s often just about convenience.
We ended that almost year-long “situationship” because I didn’t see any progress for us. I didn’t want to settle for a relationship where someone says, “I love you,” but couldn’t make things official. That night, I stood my ground and directly addressed the concern that had to be resolved. “Is it hard to make things official? Or is it that you don’t want to make things official because you benefit the most from this setup?” You ask these questions because you’ve been stuck in uncertainty, feeling like your worth is always questioned to the core. But love shouldn’t be about doubt; it should stem from the question, “Why does he/she love me that much?”
We deserve a love that feels like home, one imbued with peace rather than pain. That’s what love is—it’s the solace that comes even in tough times. However, when love intertwines with doubt; it doesn’t always shine clearly. There are still tears, but what's the difference? Despite the pain, you manage to conquer it together because both of you want it. It takes two to tango in a serious, committed love. For those who aren't ready for these challenges, it’s easy to fall into a situationship.
Do they end up there by choice, or do they simply find themselves in that position? It comes down to how you wish to be loved—whether you follow your heart or mind, or if you choose to drown in the ocean of uncertainty. If you desire something different, you will not remain in a setup that makes you feel unworthy of genuine love. There are indeed people we can’t bear to lose, but would you rather lose yourself in the process? You don’t need to question why they offer less than you deserve; you cannot please them as you should. Those who prefer to remain in such situations are often people who do not prioritize relationships and aren’t serious about being accountable for someone else’s heart.
In reality, whether you’re in a situationship or a committed relationship, there’s no escaping the pain that love can bring. What matters is how you both communicate and compromise. Being in a situationship isn’t inherently wrong; it becomes problematic only if you hurt someone’s feelings for your benefit.
Let’s try to appreciate and value ourselves more than others because this is a reflection of how we want others to appreciate us. By doing so, you’re learning to love yourself more than anyone else, allowing you to understand your worth and what is truly meant for you.
Article by: Joana Marie Bulilan (BSE-ENG 3A)
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